By Oladiran Kehinde
Many people admire strong women those who hustle, overcome challenges, and never give up. But when the word feminist is mentioned, it suddenly becomes controversial. Some say,
I’m strong and independent, but I’m not a feminist.
But why?
This confusion exists because society accepts women who survive quietly, but often criticizes those who question unfair systems. This is where feminism comes in. According to Liberal Feminist Theory, feminism simply argues that men and women should have equal opportunities nothing more, nothing less. Meanwhile, African Feminist thinkers like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Molara Ogundipe explain that feminism in Africa is not about rejecting culture or hating men, but about demanding respect, voice, and fairness.
So, what really is the difference between a strong woman and a feminist and why does society confuse them?
Theories of Feminism
One of the earliest feminist ideas comes from Liberal Feminism, which argues that women should have the same legal and social rights as men such as education, employment, property rights, and political participation. Thinkers like Mary Wollstonecraft and Betty Friedan believed that if society gave women equal opportunities, they could achieve just as much as men. This aligns with the idea of the strong woman who works hard, survives challenges, and succeeds despite obstacles. However, feminism goes a step further by asking that these opportunities should not exist for a few strong women alone, but for all women, through laws and social reforms.
While liberal feminists seek equality within the system, Radical Feminist theory questions the system itself. Radical feminists argue that society is structured by patriarchy a system where men hold the most power and that true freedom for women requires challenging and changing that system completely. The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir, in her famous book The Second Sex, described how women are socially conditioned to accept their roles and remain silent. A strong woman may survive within patriarchy, but a radical feminist refuses to accept it and demands transformation.
Another important perspective is Marxist or Socialist Feminism, which argues that women's oppression is not only caused by patriarchy but also by economic systems like capitalism. Scholars such as Friedrich Engels and Silvia Federici explained that women often perform unpaid labor like housework and caregiving which benefits society but is rarely valued or recognized. While a strong woman may work tirelessly both at home and outside, a feminist influenced by socialist ideas asks why this unpaid labor exists and why it is taken for granted.
Feminism becomes even more complex when we consider Intersectional Feminism, introduced by Kimberlé Crenshaw. This theory says that not all women experience oppression the same way. A black woman in America, a poor woman in India, and a Muslim woman in Iran all face different struggles based on race, class, religion, or culture. This theory is important because it shows that feminism is not just about gender it is about how gender interacts with other identities. It also shows that being “strong” looks different in different places.
Finally, Postcolonial and African Feminism challenge Western feminist thinking by emphasizing culture, history, and colonialism. Scholars like Chandra Mohanty, Nawal El Saadawi, and Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí argue that Western feminism often ignores the experiences of women in Africa, Asia, and the Global South. In many African societies, a strong woman is celebrated for her resilience and ability to endure hardship, but a feminist questions why she is expected to suffer in the first place. African feminism does not reject culture but seeks a balance where tradition does not silence women.
Who Is a Strong Woman?
A strong woman is someone society often admires. She is hardworking, resilient, and keeps moving forward even when life is difficult. She may be a single mother taking care of her children, a student working and schooling at the same time, a woman in business or politics, or just someone who refuses to give up no matter what.
Strong women are everywhere. They wake up early, hustle, provide for their families, endure pain, smile through struggles, and rarely complain. Society loves to praise them with words like “superwoman,” “mother of strength,” or “she suffered, but she never broke.”
But here is something important:
Being a strong woman often means surviving within the system, even when that system is unfair. She carries her pain with pride. She adjusts. She endures. She doesn’t always question why things are the way they are she just keeps going.
Examples of how society sees a strong woman:
A woman who works three jobs to take care of her children without asking anyone for help.
A wife who stays in a difficult marriage but remains loyal and patient.
A girl who pays her school fees herself by selling things after school.
A woman who is the breadwinner of her family but says nothing about unfair treatment.
Strong women are powerful and inspiring but sometimes society uses their strength as an excuse to ignore their suffering. People say, “She’s strong, she’ll be fine,” instead of asking, “Why does she have to struggle so much in the first place?”
This is where the difference between a strong woman and a feminist begins
The strong woman survives, while the feminist questions, speaks, and fights for change.
Who Is a Feminist?
A feminist is someone who believes that women and men should have equal rights, opportunities, and respect in society. A feminist can be a woman or a man. The focus is not on being stronger than men, but on making sure women are not treated as less than men.
While a strong woman often endures her struggles quietly, a feminist asks,
“Why should women have to suffer in silence?”
A feminist is not just strong for herself she speaks up so that other women don’t have to go through the same pain.
What Feminists Stand For:
That girls deserve the same access to education as boys.
That women should be paid fairly for the same work men do.
That marriage, motherhood, or wearing certain clothes should be a choice, not a rule forced by society.
That violence, harassment, or abuse against women should never be ignored or excused.
That tradition and culture should not be used as reasons to silence women.
Examples of a Feminist in Action:
A woman who questions why only girls are expected to cook and clean at home.
A man who believes his wife should have a say in decisions and supports her dreams.
A student who speaks out against sexual harassment in school or university.
Writers, activists or even everyday people who use their voice to fight injustice.
Society often misunderstands feminists. Some people think feminists hate men, don’t want marriage, or want to dominate men this is not true.
Real feminism is about choice, freedom, and fairness.
Where a strong woman says, “I will survive this,”
A feminist says, “No woman should have to survive this in the first place.”
Why Are Strong Women and Feminists Often Confused?
Some women fear the fire. Some simply become it. R.H. Sin
In today’s world, society often mixes up the idea of a strong woman with that of a feminist woman, but they are not exactly the same. This confusion exists because both challenge silence, oppression, and societal expectations but they do so in different ways.
A strong woman is someone who endures, survives, and rises above her struggles. She carries pain with grace, she adapts, and she keeps moving even when life tries to break her.
A feminist, however, goes one step further. She not only survives but also questions:
“Why should women have to suffer in the first place?”
This small shift from endurance to resistance is what many people fail to understand.
💬 Why Society Gets It Wrong
Culture Teaches Silence, Not Rebellion
Many cultures praise a woman who “endures quietly” but criticize the one who speaks up. That’s why a feminist is often seen as rebellious, stubborn, or even disrespectful.
As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said, “We teach girls to shrink themselves… to say, ‘I have ambition, but not too much.’”
Strength Is Personal, Feminism Is Political
A strong woman wins her own battles.
A feminist asks why the battle exists and fights for every woman.
One is about personal resilience, the other about social change.
Media and Misrepresentation
Movies, music, and social media sometimes portray feminists as “angry, man-hating women.” This image is false but popular. Simone de Beauvoir once wrote, “I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to take charge of me entirely.” This is not hatred it is awareness and independence.
Fear of Change
Feminism challenges long-standing traditions patriarchy, inequality, and silence. So people find it easier to call a loud woman “too strong” rather than admit society needs change.
Real-Life Examples: Strong Women vs Feminists
1. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala – The Strong Woman
Nigeria’s first female Finance Minister and current Director-General of the World Trade Organization didn’t call herself a feminist publicly for many years, yet she is celebrated worldwide for her strength, resilience, and leadership.
She once said, If you want to get anywhere, you have to be resilient.
Okonjo-Iweala represents the strong woman she breaks barriers by succeeding within the system, not necessarily challenging its rules.
2. Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti – The Feminist Before the Word Was Popular
She didn’t just survive injustice; she fought it. In the 1940s, when women were unfairly taxed in Abeokuta, she led thousands to protest against colonial and patriarchal structures.
She believed, “There is nothing like freedom, and I will not rest until women enjoy it too.”
Unlike the quiet resilience of a strong woman, hers was active resistance a clear feminist stance.
3. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie – The Modern Feminist Voice
Known globally for her TED Talk “We Should All Be Feminists,” she challenges social norms and openly uses the word “feminist.”
She said, “Feminism is about justice. It is not about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”
Her message directly addresses the confusion strong women exist, but feminism demands that their strength be respected, not tolerated.
4. Ordinary Everyday Women
A widow raising four children alone and paying school fees society calls her “a strong woman.”
A young lady at a university fighting against sexual harassment policies society sometimes calls her “too bold” or “a feminist troublemaker.”
Both are brave. But one accepts the storm; the other questions why the storm exists.
Why This Conversation Matters
“The most dangerous woman of all is the one who refuses to rely on your sword to save her because she carries her own.”
In our society, being strong and being feminist are often confused. But they are not enemies they are sisters in the same fight, just using different weapons.
The strong woman endures. She adapts, survives, and inspires.
The feminist not only endures but speaks she challenges, questions, and fights for lasting change.
Both deserve admiration. But while strength can change a life, feminism can change a system.
So when next someone asks:
“Why do feminists always complain?”
The answer is simple:
Because being strong is not enough we want a world where we don’t have to be strong just to survive.
